At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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