Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
