This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
