she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
