True but thats because hes a fetus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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