Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
