Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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