I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
