just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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