I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
