whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
