I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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