i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
