Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
