so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
