I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
