very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please don't give away my fajitas
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize