When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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