Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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