i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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