I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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