They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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