Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's always time for handjobs
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
