it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
