You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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