You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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