She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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