FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
