dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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