Whod you bang
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
