yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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