at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
