I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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