Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
