I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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