I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
