Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
