Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
