I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
