If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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