I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize