I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Shame - the story of my life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
