i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
this is an emotional support booty call
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
