I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
