so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
