So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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