god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
