But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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