I need help removing her.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Rumble strips road head = magical
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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