Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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