he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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