Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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