Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
